She’s My Wanna-Be


Yesterday, after I’d called Maria from the club to ask if she was cheating on me, we met for coffee in Old San Juan. With simple candor, she pointed out the obvious: “Will, you do not trust me.” I was primed to defend myself, for normally I hear something like this and it sounds like an accusation. (Girlfriends usually get around to pointing out my shortcomings.)


Anyway, before I could frame my defense –- and say “No, that isn’t true; I was not myself last night; I shouldn’t have believed Silvio — she murmured, “I would like to help you to trust me.”

What could I say to that? “Oh, no. Don’t worry; trust has always been hard for me. It’s time I acknowledged that truth.”

Instead, I didn’t say anything. I embraced her and leaned into the low stonewall along Calle Norzagaray, and we looked out at Del Morro. Some knight I was. I had come back to Puerto Rico to love Maria and secure her future. Instead, I realize she is-– and always has been –- rescuing me.Curt's 130


To have, to do, to be?  Is that your question?



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